Joyful Noise

U.C.M. Newsletter of Joy, Humor, Laughter, and Inspiration


Fractal, by Minister Steve Waites

Editor: Rev. Doti Boon

Volume 9 page 3 (1-21-10)


I willingly help heal and support those in need.

Oh, The Places Your Ego Will Go

(If Dr. Seuss Studied A Course In Miracles) by Scott Kalechstein

Your ego will travel with you on this earth

And be your companion for worser or worse

It pretends it’s your friend, your bestest amigo

And it makes you feel guilty, that’s the job of the ego

It has good judgment and will help you be strong

So it has to remind you you’ve done it all wrong

You’re weak and you’re lazy and you can’t get a clue

That’s the voice of the ego trying to motivate you

Oh, the places you’ll go and the guilt trips you’ll travel

As the ego plays judge and bangs down on its gavel

But you always can get some relief from your shame

By projecting it on to the others you’ll blame

For that is the ego at its beastiest best

It nurses its grievances close to its chest

It milks every moment for things to feel pain about

Turns molehills to mountains of things to complain about

No trust is a must you must constantly worry

No peace till deceased you must constantly hurry

Oh, the places you’ll go and the people you’ll see

All through the lens of “What’s in it for me?”

For the ego believes there is something it lacks

And until it is found it won’t let you relax
You’ve got to keep moving at speeds that are blinding

Keep searching and searching but not really finding

Perhaps you will find it in the next one you’ll date

True love at first sight with a soul kind of mate

It’s great for a while till the egos take hold

Cause when two halves combine they do not make a whole

It’s hot at the start but it will turn to cold

For when two halves collide they cannot make a whole

So the ego moves on ever constantly striving

Addicted to seeking and afraid of arriving

You’re traveling fast at the speed of surviving

With fear in the drivers seat doing the driving

The joys of each moment go swishing on by

As the ego keeps reaching for pies in the sky

Reaching and reaching with arms that are flailing

And the ego loves giving you F for your failings

Or perhaps you are on the fast track to success

You’re constantly driven to be great, better, best!

You’re a mover, a shaker, a big time achiever

You’re a real self-made man, a dazzling diva

You’re rich and you’re famous and make quite a splash

You’re on top of the world and you’re rolling in cash

You drive the right car and you’ve married the right spouse

Today you’re on Oprah, this evening the White House

But at night insecurity pays you a call

Cause you know anytime that you could lose it all

Your shrink says to rest and your spouse sure agrees

Your doctor says, “Ulcers, take fourteen of these.”

You know you should slow it down sooner or later

But your foot is just glued to the accelerator

Your ego consoles, “Well, at least we’re successful

It’s a sign of success to be constantly stressful

You’ve made it to prime time and everyone loves you.”

(But your self-esteem’s built on what others think of you)

One day when you’ve failed and succeeded enough

You witness your ego exposed in the buff

And you realize without all its protective clothing

That the ego is simply a state of self-loathing

And beyond that you find out the biggest of deals

That you’ve dreamt up the ego, it’s not even real!

So for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health

You commit to the journey of loving yourself

You take back the projections you placed upon others

And find through forgiveness real peace is discovered

You realize the glory you searched for outside you

Is what you are made of and can’t be denied you

So you give up your plans and your potions and pills

And you practice contentment and learn how to chill

Your old superstitions have gone up in smoke

(Like you can’t rest in peace until after you croak)

While resting in peacefulness you get inspired

To go out in the world with some newfound desires

Desires that spring from your heart and your soul

And wherever they take you you’re going there whole

Cause your ego is now in the passenger seat

It rolls down the window and takes in the treats

You’re not in a hurry you’re taking it slow

Cause the journey’s as rich as the places you’ll go

Where you are going you don’t need to know

For the journey’s as rich as the places you’ll go.

To send Scott an email visit www.scottsongs to receive writings like this one.


In God we Trust

A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the little ones’ chests, would plug the stethoscope into their ears and let them listen to their own heart. Their eyes would always light up with awe, but she never got a response equal to four-year old David’s comment. Gently she tucked the stethoscope into his ears and placed the disk over his heart.

          ‘Listen’, she said…’What do you suppose that is?’ He drew his eyebrows together in a puzzled line and looked up as if lost in the mystery of the strange tap – tap – tapping deep in his chest. Then his face broke out in a wondrous grin and he asked, ‘Is that Jesus knocking?’

          Blessed are those who walk with one hand held by God and the other one held by a friend.

In God we trust!!!

Don’t let your worries get the best of you;

Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.


Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited

Until you try to sit in their pews.


Many folks want to serve God,

But only as advisers.


It is easier to preach ten sermons

Than it is to live one.


When you get to your wit’s end,

You’ll find God lives there.


Quit griping about your church;

If it was perfect, you couldn’t belong.


If a church wants a better pastor,

It only needs to pray for the one it has.


We’re called to be witnesses, not lawyers or Judges.


God doesn’t propose to judge a man until

he is dead. So why should you?


Some minds are like concrete

Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set


Peace starts with a smile.


Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.


Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.


Don’t wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.


Forbidden fruits create many jams.


God loves everyone, But probably prefers

‘fruits of the spirit’ over ‘religious nuts!’


God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.


He who angers you, controls you!


If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!


Prayer: Don’t give God instructions, just report for duty!


The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.


The Will of God never takes you to where the

Grace of God will not protect you.


We don’t change the message, the message changes us.


You can tell how big a person is

By what it takes to discourage him.


Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.

It’s about learning to enjoy the rain…

Submitted by Rev. Sandy Clark

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