A Joyful Noise!

U.C.M. Newsletter of Joy, Humor, Laughter, and Inspiration

 

Editor: Rev. Doti Boon

http://safedoti@aol.com

Vol. 9 pg. 46 (11-18-10)

AFFIRMATION

I enjoy getting older, wiser and having a lot more fun!

    Picture of Gene Olson Celebrating 90 something!     

 Some folks were talking at church last Sunday, and one of them remarked – “I sure hate getting old.” And a fellow parishioner answered, “Well it is better than the alternative.” This made me laugh because both of the folks were under the age of sixty.

          When I was in my sixties I decided to get a divorce, sell my house, change my residence, start a Healing Center, solidify a new relationship and get all of my teeth pulled (well rather the crumbling teeth decided this for me). And to think, some folks feel 60 is OLD and their life is almost done!

          Well, maybe the body creaks a little, the eyesight may need a bit more magnification and some body parts have stopped resisting gravitational pull – but spirituality, old friends, exciting celebrations and loving relationships become more and more interesting.

          As you get older your realize that what people think, what you choose to wear, what kind of car you drive, how much money you have and how you are judged – isn’t nearly as important as laughing with friends, talking to your grandchildren, achieving a sense of spiritual accomplishment, looking at exciting things in the future, a good night’s sleep, and most of all waking up with a smile on your face.

          So, the next time you feel there is nothing left to live for, you are too depressed to go out of the house, or maybe you feel that the Creator has forsaken you – read the following poem – so you can get excited about your seventies, eighties, nineties – and if it isn’t too much of a chore – maybe 104!

Today, dear Lord, I’m 80

And there’s much I haven’t done

I Hope, dear Lord, you’ll let me

live until I’m 81

But then if I haven’t finished all I

want to do,

Would you let me stay a while, until I’m 82?

So many places I want to go,

So very much to see,

Do you think that you could

Manage to make me 83?

The world is changing very fast,

There is much in store,

I’d like it very much to live

until I’m 84

And if by then I’m still alive,

I’d like to stay ’til 85.

More planes will be up in the air,

So I’d really like to stick,

And see what happens to the world

When I’m 86.

I know, dear Lord, it’s much to ask,

(and it must be nice in heaven)

but I would really like to stay

Until I’m 87.

I know by then I won’t be fat,

and sometimes will be late,

But it would be so pleasant to be

Around at 88.

I would have seen so many things.

and had a wonderful life,

So, I’m sure that I’ll be willing to

Leave at 89. (maybe)

I’m 90, Lord, my mind is sound

I like it here-I can still walk around.

My time is limited, I know and

Someday I’ll have to go! 

I’m not greedy or guided by fears,

I want to see what happens in the

next few years.

I’m sure you’ve heard this plea before,

but my bags will be packed at 104!

author unknown

 

GETTING OLD ISN’T FOR SISSIES!

A Senior Citizen

I am a senior citizen…

I’m the life of the party…even when it lasts ’till 8pm.

I’m very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer….

I’m the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up

I’m very good at telling stories…over and over and over and over and laughing every time!

I’m aware that other people’s grandchildren aren’t as bright as mine.

I’m positive I did housework correctly before the Internet.

I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure place.

I’m wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.

I’m having trouble remembering simple words like…uh…

I’m realizing that aging is not for sissies.

I’m walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I’m in the *initial* state of my golden years:  SS, CD’s, IRAs, AARP.

I’m anti-everything now:  anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.

I’m a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life…Aren’t I?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father’s word processor; she told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?”

He asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, “Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor’s wife.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our five-year-old son couldn’t wait to tell his father about the movie we had watched on television, “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.” The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, “What caused the submarine to sink?” With a look of incredulity Mark replied, “Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!!”

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