Posts Tagged ‘doti’

Joyful Noise May 25th Edition

May 27, 2009

Memorial Day Monday the 25th!
A Joyful Noise!
U.C.M. Newsletter of Joy, Humor, Laughter, and Inspiration

Editor: Rev. Doti Boon
Volume 8 page 21 (05-21-09)

All are welcome to Sunday Celebration at the Center for Creative Living, UCM Charter #801, at 1460 Koll Circle, Suite “C” – services in back. Need directions? Call (408)392-9090 or visit Healing Chairs (come give or receive a hands-on-healing) start at 9:30am. Celebration is from 10:00 to 11:30am. Dress is casual, kids welcome and hugs encouraged!

Rev. Donna Zehner (UCM Board member and CCL Associate Pastor is giving Sunday’s service. Please bring pictures for the altar of those beings you would like to remember on this Memorial Day remembrance. The CCL Singers will be singing for the very first time! Please join us for this wonderful event.
Affirmation – I am proud to be an American!

Many of us in my generation fought against the war in Viet Nam and then the Gulf War. Never protesting against the soldiers – always arguing against the philosophy of war and the loss of so many young men and women. Whatever our views on war – may we never forget the magnificent individuals who felt strongly enough for Freedom to give their lives for it.

The Finest Tribute
(For Memorial Day)

The sleeping princesses and princes of this world are mourned today
We say good night to them over again with our wreaths and our tears.
No one knows as well as the family of one of these soldiers
the meaning of Memorial Day
We see the crosses row on row, exclaim over the medals;
but the boys and girls gone from our lives
make us realize the meaning of it all:
The lady we call the Statute of Liberty
holds out her glowing torch to all races and creeds,
proclaiming the blessedness of freedom.
Today we stand at the grave of the Unknown Soldier again,
and in our hearts comes a strange feeling, wordless sadness.
Is there a wreath large enough to match the beauty
of their devotion to their country! Only one.
It is in the faces of the children marching in the parade –
carrying the flag of freedom.
Our soldiers loved the red, white and blue enough to die for it.
There is no grave marker big enough except this –
that the flag they chose as their eternal flower
Freedom – blooms forever.
By Marion Schoeberlein


And now – some military humor:

The marine and the atheist professor

Why doesn’t God answer the atheist professor’s challenge? The marine explains!

A young Marine had just served his country and decided to go back to college. He was taking a hard class taught by a proclaimed atheist.
After almost a semester of religious intolerance, the Marine wasn’t surprised at all when the teacher stood on a box and said “God, if you exist, knock me off this box. I’ll give you fifteen minutes.”
Fourteen minutes went by, and the teacher said “I’m waiting!”
The Marine got out of his desk, knocked the teacher in the head with the book. “What was that for?” the professor asked when he came to. The Marine replied innocently, “God’s busy protecting our soldiers who are protecting your rights to act like an idiot, so he sent me.”

An officer in my unit in Iraq was on the phone with his mom. She asked if there was anything he needed. Yes, he told her, lots of ChapStick.
There must have been something wrong with the connection. His mom sent him what she thought he asked for: 300 pairs of chopsticks.

Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine husband called home one evening to tell me he would be late. “Dirty magazines were discovered in the platoon quarters,” he said, “and the whole squad is being disciplined.”
I launched into a tirade, arguing that Marines should not be penalized for something so trivial.
My husband interrupted. “Honey, when I said ‘dirty magazines,’ I meant the clips from their rifles hadn’t been cleaned.”


Just after my father, who was a career Air Force NCO, passed away, all my brothers and sisters returned home to be with Mom. As we reminisced about my dad, we found ourselves floating from sorrow to laughter as we brought up fond memories of our nomadic military lifestyle. One morning we were discussing what music should be played at the funeral and several hymns were suggested. “But, Mom,” my older sister said, “since Daddy was in the Air Force, shouldn’t we request the Air Force song?”
“No, dear,” my mother said with a smile. “We are not playing a song with the words ‘Off we go into the wild blue yonder’ at your father’s funeral!”


As he reviewed pilot crash reports, my Air Force military science professor stumbled upon this understated entry: “After catastrophic engine failure, I landed long. As I had no power, the landing gear failed to deploy and no braking was available. I bounced over the stone wall at the end of the runway, struck the trailer of a truck while crossing the perimeter road, crashed through the guardrail, grazed a large pine tree, ran over a tractor parked in the adjacent field, and hit another tree. Then I lost control.”


In a lecture to a group of Korean officers, Lieut. Gen. Bruce C. Clarke, at that time deputy commander of the Eighth Army in Korea, took two or three minutes to tell his favorite joke. His interpreter then quickly translated the joke, using only seven or eight words. Everyone immediately burst into hearty laughter. After the lecture General Clarke asked the interpreter how he had been able to retell such a relatively long joke so quickly.
“Well, sir,” the Korean interpreter replied, “I didn’t think everyone would get the point, so I said, ‘The general has just told a joke. Everyone will please laugh.”


The colonel who served as inspector general in our command paid particular attention to how personnel wore their uniforms. On one occasion he spotted a junior airman with a violation. “Airman,” he bellowed, “what do you do when a shirt pocket is unbuttoned?”
The startled airman replied, “Button it, sir!”
The colonel looked him in the eye and said, “Well?”
At that, the airman nervously reached over and buttoned the colonel’s shirt pocket.


During basic training, our drill sergeant asked for a show of hands of all Jewish personnel. Six of us tentatively raised our hands. Much to our relief, we were given the day off for Rosh Hashanah.
A few days later in anticipation of Yom Kippur, the drill sergeant again asked for all Jewish personnel to ID themselves. This time, every soldier raised his hand. “Only the personnel who were Jewish last week can be Jewish this week,” declared the sergeant.



Thurs. May 21st   7 to 9 $15. per person or 2 for $25.
Ultralongevity with Virginia Essene & Friends
Join acclaimed author, speaker, lecturer and teacher Virginia Essene as she gives you advice on increasing your life expectancy.


Happenings at The Center

May 23rd Saturday 1pm to 3:30 Time to Fulfill Your “Spirit’s Journey” $35. FREE to CCL & UCM members. Come and deepen your connection with your life’s highest purpose and learn the ways of the “Spirit Walkers.” Join noted Shaman, healer and spiritual teacher, Norbeth Granado in this introductory workshop. For reservations call (408) 315-3078 or e-mail

May 25th every Mon. 7 to 9 Casual Yoga with Krishnapryia (Laura Marshall) a yoga class for the older, and out of shape folks. Also exciting for those returning to Yoga after many years. Bring a mat and blanket – or use one of ours.

May 26th every Tues. 6:30 to 8:30 Drumming with Norbeth and Friends. Bring your drum or borrow one of ours to join in with the musical magic of drums, rattles, flutes and even a didgeridoo. Love Donation.

May 27th – Metaphysical Movie Night – “What the Bleep!” 7 to 9 – $5. plus FREE popcorn!

May 31st – OPEN HOUSE at The Center 1:00 to 5:00. Free Introductory twenty minute lectures by great speakers, ten minute Healings, Shamanic Energies, Readings, Drumming, Door Prizes, Food and Drink!

Life is meant to be a joyous celebration!

Love and Light,Rev. Doti Boon

PS from Reverend Clark:

The baby doves survived the power washing of our building, and repainting, and now have left the nest and the patio area. Now we have another pair of doves who have started their nest and it appears we will have additional doves in the future. Hopefully it will be much calmer around here for this new pair and their offspring. The painting of the building is complete.

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Universal Church of the Master
100 W. Rincon Ave. #101
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